How it Feels to Play Breath of the Wild.

You know, lately it seems like I’ve been having a hard time coming up with titles for blog posts.  Not because I’m drawing the proverbial blank; no, it’s more because I’ve got so many ideas for titles that I end up getting paralyzed in my seat.  I feel like I’m getting close to the end of Tales of Berseria, but even if I’m not, I’ve still put in enough hours to say something substantial about it -- but the problem is that I’ve gone through about six separate titles without typing out a single word.

That’s one example, yet it’s not the only one.  Here we are, with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild firmly in the midst of gamers -- in its final, retail form, armed and ready for mass consumption.  Where do you even begin with the Wii U’s final game (worthy of major headlines, at least) and the Switch’s first game (of the same quality)?  There are plenty of options -- like a blanket statement of whether it’s good or not -- but I think I’ve come up with one possible answer.

That answer is a question: as of right now, if I had to sum up Breath of the Wild in one word, what would it be?

And the answer to that question (which in itself is an answer) is this: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is raw.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild VS Horizon: Zero Dawn: Hell in a Cell (Part 2)

This post is probably going to oust me as a hypocrite (well, more so than usual).  I can see it now.  I mean, even though The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild isn’t officially being called an open-world game, it shares a good number of traits with the subgenre.  Plus, being called “open-world” carries a lot of baggage with it these days.  Ubisoft and its AAA contemporaries have run what was once a good thing -- if not a symbol of progress for the medium -- into the ground, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the mere concept is enough to make someone’s eyes roll so fast that they could break the sound barrier.

I’m pretty sure I’ve taken shots at open-world games as well, so the fact that I’m excited for Breath of the Wild means that I’m a dirty liar in need of a bath filled with holy water.  More to the point, I’m a hypocrite because this game appeals to me, but I’m about ready to write off the superficially-similar Horizon: Zero Dawn for what may come off as arbitrary reasons.  In my defense, it’s not as if I love one and hate the other; it’s just that I feel like BotW appeals to me more.  And while I’m pretty confident that Horizon will eventually be a solid game, it feels redundant -- and significantly less special -- in the face of BotW.

I guess now I’ll have to explain why.  So let’s go ahead and step back into the ring for another smackdown.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild VS Horizon: Zero Dawn: Hell in a Cell (Part 1)

I think I’ve sent myself on a guilt trip.

The dust has long since started to settle on E3 2016, with no shortage of information to parse through.  Granted some things were still a no-show -- a new Sonic game is on the way, but Sega just teased an announcement of an announcement of an announcement to screw with everyone’s heads -- but I doubt anyone will go on a rant about how the industry’s major players kept all their cards close to the chest. 

And that’s where my guilt comes in.  At last year’s E3, I was intrigued by Horizon: Zero Dawn.  Very intrigued; it was new, it was different, and it looked as if it had plenty to offer for gamers vis a vis robot dinosaur hunting.  I’d assume that’s not all you’ll be doing, but if that’s the core gameplay, then it seems all right.  Well, that’s what I’d like to say; cut to a year later, however, and I’m suddenly not so intrigued by it.  What would’ve once made my eyebrows slide up my face now makes me go “Ehhhhhhhhh…” and “Awwwwwwwwwww…”  I don’t understand what happened, and it’s kind of tearing me up inside.  That’s especially true, because -- at least on a superficial level -- The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild ticks some of the same boxes, yet my hype is breaking through the atmosphere.

What the hell’s going on?  Well, I intend to find out with this LONG overdue post.  Even though I already kind of have an answer, but let’s pretend we’re going in raw.

Season's Wii-tings II: Hyrule Warriors

You know what?  I think Hyrule Warriors is a great concept.

If I had to guess, I’d say that those who play and love Zelda don’t exactly look to it for the combat.  It’s more about the adventure; exploration, and clearing dungeons, and whatnot.  It may seem strange to say that, seeing as how you can’t divorce the canon from collected weapons and magic swords, but fights are just blips on the radar.  They’re events you encounter along the way, even with the massive bosses you’re typically pitted against.  It really says a lot about the design philosophy when there was no built-in, intentional focus on combat until roughly 2011.

So Hyrule Warriors shows what happens when you let someone else interpret your work (meaningfully and skillfully, at least).  Now the focus is almost entirely on the combat, and shows just what happens when Link and Zelda and all the rest get to go all out against the forces of evil.  As others have suggested, Hyrule Warriors is when and how we finally get to see some of the big battles and wars of lore unfold before our eyes.  I can’t think of a lot of ways to exponentially increase the scale of Zelda’s conflicts, so maybe giving the canon that Musou/Dynasty Warriors twist is the best way to go about it.

That all said, Hyrule Warriors is probably the worst Wii U game I’ve played yet.

That said, even the “worst” Wii U game is still unreasonably good.

It’s LU BU!  LU BU has come to destroy us!

Oh, wait.  I mean SPOILERS.  Not Lu Bu.  Jeez, I’m not playing Dynasty Warriors here!

…Or am I? *nightmarish chorus of fallen angels plays*

Ever Wanted to Live in a Video Game?

Because I’m sure no one’s ever asked that question.  Except for, you know, thousands of people prior to this post.  And I’m pretty sure that’s been the premise of several dozen TV show episodes, movies, and likely a few video games, paradoxical as that sounds. 

In the interest of preparing new stuff for Cross-Up -- including a post this Friday that you’ll never see coming, whoa ho! -- there happened to be a promo for a what’s-old-is-new-again show, Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?  The central question?  Pretty much the same as this post’s title.  Apparently, in the context of that show everything takes place in some kind of virtual reality, which would probably explain why the game/show keeps finding ways to let Carmen escape danger unscathed -- no Carmen = no show. 

Hmmm.  Villains carrying a story.  That could make for a good post one day.  But let’s focus on this one for now.

Season's Wii-tings: Wind Waker HD

A funny thing happened the other day.

There was a pretty big snowstorm the other day -- and by “snowstorm” I mean “here’s lots of ice, so screw you if you want to make a snowman” -- so me, my brother, and my buddy piled in to play video games.  In the midst of the two of them taking turns playing Resident Evil 4, my buddy made a proposition: if my brother gave him a ride to the nearby Wal-Mart to pick up some sour cream (seeing as how said buddy had to walk to game with us), then he’d offer us some tacos at his place.  Said brother wasn’t on board, but when he heard that he’d be able to snag Resident Evil 6 on the cheap, he figured it was worth braving the elements.  Anything for his beloved “great game, great experience.”

It turned out that with all the ice, his car was useless.  So if we wanted to get to Wal-Mart, we’d have to go there on our feet.  In the ice.  With night falling.  And that’s exactly what we did, against ALL of our better judgment.  It was a journey made in the name of tacos and terrible video games -- one that I just happened to go on by virtue of “going with the flow”, but one that I stayed annoyingly optimistic about all the way through…to the obvious displeasure of a brother who complained all the way there and back.  The trip took about an hour, and we slipped and tripped a little, but I had fun.  It would have been more fun if not for that miserable cold, but it’s not something I’ll forget for a while.

I get the sneaking suspicion that a lot of adventures are sparked by stupid decisions -- but once they’re done and everyone’s in their safe haven, what was once just stupid becomes something precious.  Something necessary.  We need adventure.

Which brings me (as circuitously as possible) to The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD.

What Does Zelda Mean to You?

Hold on a second.  If I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do it right.

Let’s discuss The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (Part 3)

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Let's discuss The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (Part 2)

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Let’s discuss video games…while I wear a silly hat.

Endearing, isn’t it?

Well, whatever.  It’s that time of year again -- Halloween’s just about in full swing, and even though I don’t have a costume, I’ve still got a lot on my mind and a lot of games I want to talk about.  Good games, in fact.  Very good games.  That said, I think there’s another trend to this little quartet, just like there was last time.  If the last “Let’s Discuss” post was mostly about “hate”, then this one is more about “pressure”.  What sort of pressure, you ask?  Well, you’ll just have to read on and find out, won’t you?

I’ve got my sleeves all rolled up and ready to write -- and you know what?  I’m in high spirits.  It feels like we’re going to make some seriously good progre-

What the heck?  What was --?

Huh.  That’s odd.  Wonder if it’s a problem with Blogger’s --

That can't be good...

Let’s discuss The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

Fi is the worst part of Skyward Sword, without a doubt.

After riding high with the successes of Twilight Princess’ Midna, you’d think that Nintendo’s masterminds would want to make an even better, even more delightful sidekick -- one that had a more overt personality and style than everyone’s favorite nightcap-wearing knight, Link.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case; Fi has zero personality.  She has a token arc (and I use that term loosely) where she goes from unfeeling automaton to a partner enamored with the idea of love and camaraderie…and likely enamored with Link himself.  She talks a lot, yet has nothing important to say.

Fi is especially jarring when she stops the flow of the game to give you information you just heard from an NPC/dialogue box, or otherwise takes the adventuring part out of the adventure game.  She exists to make absolutely sure -- or at least 85% sure, in accordance with her speech pattern -- you know where you’re going and what you’re doing and where you are and what this item does.  It wouldn’t be so bad if you could turn her off, but you can’t.  She’ll automatically appear no matter what, and give you “advice” no matter what.  But she outright pissed me off during the Silent Realm trials; apparently if you screw up more than three times, she’ll say something to the effect of “I’m starting to doubt you’re cut out to be a hero.”  This, in spite of Link (i.e. the player) having conquered several dungeons, slaughtered monsters at least three times his size, pushing back rival swordsman Ghirahim, and sealing away a horrific, shambling, evolving beast of pure malice and evil.  I’m not cut out to be a hero?  Back off, you knockoff vocaloid piece of shit.

With all that said, Skyward Sword may be one of my favorite games ever.

(Warning: there will be spoilers.  And blood.  But mostly spoilers.  But mostly blood.)