Re: RE: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

How to become a Game of the Year 2018 contender instantly -- irrespective of actual game quality or even a full release -- as explained by Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

Step One: KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE.

That’s…pretty much the only step.

RE: Marvel’s Spider-Man (PS4)

All right, I’m going to make this as quick a post as I can.  Why?  Because the sooner I finish, the sooner I can play more Marvel’s Spider-Man.  

The Emissary from Hell has arrived.  And I couldn't be happier.

RE: Re: Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony

Okay, so I think I came up with a workaround for uploading Danganronpa images without spoiling myself to high heaven.  I’ve got the PC version of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony, so all I have to do is take direct screenshots as events transpire, and I’m at no risk of tapping the forbidden knowledge.  Ergo, now I’m free to use this picture of Tenko’s shit-eating grin without consequence.  Also, I remembered that Soundcloud is a site that exists, and thus I can head there to listen to the game’s OST.  And thanks to that, I don’t have to worry about video thumbnails/titles that try to spoil me on upcoming content.  On that note: YouTube, what the hell?

This is a lot of effort to put into not learning about a game.  Just as well, though.  Because 1) Danganronpa V3 is kind of blowing my mind right now.  And 2) get this game.

Or, you know, watch an LP.  That works, too.  But also, get this game.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Intermission)

And here we are at last.

So.  Let’s go ahead and breakdown, breakdown JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure one more time…for now, at least.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 8)

All right.  Let’s talk about “Chase”.

I think that all of the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure openings are special -- top-notch work, and a joy to behold and listen to alike.  Personally, that extends to the sixth opening “Chase”.  It’s not my favorite, but it’s still plenty impressive.  From what I can gather, not everyone feels the same way; there have been complaints that the song doesn’t fit JoJo (and belongs with other shonen/anime as per its “generic” nature).  Or, alternatively, they’ll say that the dreary aesthetic and harsh tones are too stark a contrast for a show that revels in its randomly shifted -- and shifting -- color palette.

My argument is that it always seemed as if “Chase” represented a logical progression for the Diamond is Unbreakable anime.  I guessed as much once “Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town” dropped.  Okay, first opening?  Lots of happy sounds and poppy visuals, which can help an audience start falling in love with Morioh and its people.  But since this is JoJo, a series that revels in horror and suffering, it was only a matter of time once the plot kicked in -- and of course, it kicked in right around the time when “Chase” made its debut.  You can’t exactly have the cast dancing and goofing off when one of the story’s major, plot-propelling moments is a serial killer’s murder of an innocent middle school boy who just happened to learn too much.  All because he wanted his sandwich.

So yeah, I like “Chase” as a song, as an opening, and as a representation.  Still, there was one thing that bugged me for the longest time.  I kept asking “Hey, what’s with that weird stony heart with an anchor on it?”  Luckily, I did eventually get my answer -- and like Diamond is Unbreakable at large, it was glorious.

I’ll SPOIL you anywhere

I’ll SPOIL you anytime

You know I’ll SPOIL you

There is no escape (from SPOILERS)

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 7)

Hey, welcome back to Cross-Up.  You know, writing about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure posts has gotten me thinking.  I’ve come to realize that --

NO.  

SHUT UP.  

EVERYBODY SHUT UP.  

No long, meandering intros.  No tangential anecdotes.  I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.  So you know what?  Screw it.  Screw everything else.  We’re getting in there, right here, RIGHT NOW.

JoJo.  Part 4.  Diamond is Unbreakable.  

LET’S GO.

The SPOILERS we have fly flowing free

As we bicker the day away

Dancing all the while in this

Crazy noisy bizarre SPOILERS

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 3)

“There’s no way Joseph is the best JoJo.”

I’m not usually one to play the contrarian, even though it seems like that with some of my less-than-ideal opinions (like anything that has to do with Naughty Dog).  I’d like to think that I’m able to rise above preconceptions and biases to speak clearly and honestly about subjects.  But for the life of me -- and even now -- I cannot say that Joseph Joestar is the best lead JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has to offer.

Hear me out on this.  Joseph is the hero of Part 2 -- Battle Tendency -- which ran from 1987 to 1989 in manga form, and from December 2012 to April 2013 in anime form.  The former came out forever and a day ago, while the latter is fresher on people’s minds (thanks to all sorts of memes, to generalize).  Either way, there’s a LOT of content to go through.  Remember, there are eight different JoJo sagas out there, with the latest of the bunch still in production.  There’s a ton that people still need to be exposed to and given the chance to digest.  Even if we peel away 75% of the context of each arc, we still need to put every JoJo under the microscope.  Those who are 100% up to date with the manga can probably do that, but for everyone else?  How can you say “Joseph is the best” when at a bare-ass minimum, we’ve still got to get through Giorno, Joylene, Johnny, and Gappy Josuke?

Now, you can say “Joseph is my favorite JoJo so far”, because that’s much easier and more credible to quantify.  It’s an opinion with good grounding.  So with all of that said, I’ll declare this: no, Joseph is not my favorite JoJo so far.  But he’s still a good, good, good, good, damn good character.  And the same applies to Battle Tendency.

Like a bloody SPOILERS

Burning like a bloody SPOILERS

Some SPOILERS pound through your veins…and this post

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 2)

Can I just take a minute to gush about how much I love Hamon?

Sure, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has long since earned fame for its Stands.  But having watched and enjoyed Phantom Blood, I still feel like Hamon’s the cooler power of the two -- and that’s saying something, because I agree that Stands are rad.  The “power of the sun” not only lets its users fight with supercharged energy and beat down vampires (and zombie grunts), but also gives them a chance to interact with items in the environment in all sorts of zany ways.  Lots of creative applications, to be sure -- as Battle Tendency proves later on -- and it’s the sheer unpredictability that makes it a treat to see in action.

I also love how Hamon’s weakness is an obvious one.  It’s made possible through the proper breathing techniques, so if you can’t breathe, you can’t use it.  I mean, yeah, pretty much every living being is crippled if they can’t breathe, but the applications of it in JoJo add a layer of tension to battles.  When mere chains or a dip underwater become a credible life-or-death situation, you know you’ve done well in storytelling.

Also, this doesn’t have much to do with anything yet, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut…cripes, JoJo does NOT shy away from the body horror.  Thank god for the censorship, because sometimes it’s seriously hard to watch without cringing so hard my eyes clamp shut.

Anyway, on to Phantom Blood.  Again.  WITH SPOILERS.  Again.

Top 10(ish) Cool Video Game Ladies -- ACT II

Okay, so quick show of hands: who here thinks that the gaming industry has improved recently?

I know it may seem otherwise with every other post I write, but I’m glad to argue that there’s been progress.  Indie titles are doing the lord’s work, as usual.  Some of the biggest releases of the last year or two have tried to push the envelope in various ways.  There’s innovation to be truly excited about; would you ever have guessed that Nintendo, of all companies, would release an online multiplayer shooter and instantly have it become a success?

Yes, things are better than they were.  But of course, they could be even better.  There’s still a lot of work that needs to be done on multiple fronts, with the treatment (or even usage) of female characters well among them.  We want a better future, and people are trying to get there however they can.  That’s true even if some days it seems like “progress” is made while seemingly wearing a suit of armor during a triathlon.

But in order to see where we’re going, we have to know where we’ve been.  So it’s time to do something I’ve never, ever done before…except for the last time I did it.

Captain America: Civil War VS Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice: WrestleMania

I feel like there are ways to make this post’s title more cumbersome than it already is.  Then again, I have my doubts that the Blogger dashboard would allow that; it’d either reject my attempts via a character limit, or trigger the bomb embedded in my brain stem.  Not 100% how that got there (or how I know about it), but it’s something I’ve learned to live with.

But let’s not dilly-dally any longer.  There’s something that’s been on my mind, even beyond the question of “Why is Captain America: Civil War better than Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice?”  Granted that’s a legitimate question, and one I’ll try to answer in this post, but it’s important to go over all of the circumstances.  This is one of those cases where, in order to go forward, you have to go backward.

So before we do anything else, let’s talk about Man of Steel.

Always we will fight as one

Till the battle’s won

With evil on the run

We never -- oh wait, since I’m about to talk about Man of Steel, I guess I need to switch to a Hans Zimmer-approved theme song.  Yeah, I guess I’d better do that now.

Oh, and SPOILERS.  Cover your ears now.

Captain America: Civil War: SummerSlam (Part 2)

How does Marvel keep getting away with it?

Cinematic dominance.  Legions of fans.  Hundreds of millions of dollars with one release after another (typically, and that’s before factoring in stuff like merchandising).  The resources and confidence to be able to announce a buffet line of future movies.  The Marvel Cinematic Universe is on a serious hot streak, and if I had to guess?  Considering that Captain America: Civil War has won a place in the hearts of critics, casual moviegoers, and fans -- including yours truly -- I’d say that the streak’s still somewhere between “blazing” and “infernal” on the thermometer.

It’s easy to look at Marvel and get salty.  Very easy.  It’s not the perfect company, and its products aren’t exactly the apotheosis of art.  It’s hard to look at the MCU and pretend like it hasn’t inadvertently harmed the film industry, i.e. with a glut of superhero movies and forcing competitors (such as they are) to foolishly push their own cinematic universes.  And while it’s not a one-to-one comparison, the MCU has helped codify the idea that recognizable names = huge returns of investment.  Ready for a new Jumanji movie?  Too bad, idiots!  Here it comes!

If we absolutely must think of Marvel as the worst -- as a factory instead of a suite of artists -- then I hope you can meet me halfway and agree that it’s the best of the worst.  The reason why Marvel “gets away with it” is because if nothing else, it follows a fundamental rule proven in Civil War: you can’t spell “character” without “care”.

I was standing on my own

But now I’m not alone

SPOILERS!  ASSEMBLE!

Captain America: Civil War: SummerSlam (Part 1)

You know, sometimes it’s hard to come up with subtitles for these posts (especially when there’s already a subtitle built into the title).  This was one of the harder ones, for sure.  It would’ve been easy to go with something pithy yet meaningful, like “No, You Move” or “End of the Line”.  In terms of the movie’s context, there are even more examples I could’ve pulled from.

But I decided to christen it “SummerSlam”, because within the first ten minutes -- if that -- Captain America drop kicks a dude thirty feet away, while Black Widow seems to have picked up a few moves from Rey Mysterio.  Also, the whole movie is pretty much about a big punch-up between a colorful cast of characters, so why not compare it to a major wrestling event?  Besides -- and this is the important bit -- there are a lot of moments where Captain America: Civil War becomes less of a fist-pumping spectacle and more of a brutal, painful, heart-wrenching treatise on why fighting your friends can go so wrong so fast.  We could use a little levity.

It’s fine, though.  Civil War is exactly what I wanted -- which doesn’t say good things about me, but who cares? 

Our world’s about to break

Tormented and attacked

Lost from when we wake

With no way to go back…to a time before you weren’t SPOILED by the SPOILERS in this post.

(That’s how the song goes, right?)

Xenoblade Chronicles X: A Double Lariat

Is there anyone reading this that laments the loss of the game’s bust slider?

Just before Xenoblade Chronicles X hit store shelves in the west, there was that controversy over “censorship”, i.e. gamers couldn’t raise or lower the size of their created female characters’ breasts.  The argument, or something like it, was that Nintendo decided that gamers weren’t capable of handling those matters.  Or, if you want to play strawman, they didn’t want to deal with outcries from the “dreaded” SJWs.  It was either that, or they caved into demands as part of an overly-PC culture, even if it meant sacrificing artistic merit.

I think that -- as usual -- there’s no right or wrong answer to this controversy.  On one hand, I can see the issue; as a guy who hopes to write about characters of all shapes and sizes, including the improbably buxom, it’s disheartening to know that I can’t create whatever I want because somebody decided to take certain tools away from me.  And again, it implies that the mere presence of sexuality (such as it is, given that breasts are simply body parts) is the problem, not the context or execution of it.  On the other hand, it’s still possible to define a character by more than just a body type, especially since the potential is definitely there to cause a controversy.  Although given that the default bust size is generous, I wonder if it would make for some little girl avatars that raise a lot of questions.

But enough about that.  Let’s talk about my avatar for the game, Lariat.

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry 4 (Part 1).

So who’s better, Dante or Nero?

Don’t answer that yet.  I’ll get back to it…eventually.  But for now, let’s move on to something else.

What’s the Best-Looking Game You’ve Ever Seen?

There’s been a lot to talk about since this past E3, but you know what’s piqued my interest the most?  Street Fighter 5 (which should be obvious by now, but whatever).  As I’ve said in the past, the only trailers/footage I’ve grown to trust is what comes from fighting games, because they give the best indication of what the final product will actually be.  That’s not to say that SF5 hasn’t changed since its introductory trailer, but Ryu could throw fireballs then, and he’ll probably be able to throw them in the full version.  No broken promises there, I hope.

There’s been a deluge of info and footage on the game recently thanks to Eventhubs and friends, and right now it’s looking really good.  I mean that from a gameplay perspective, naturally, but even when I watch non-HD, non-60fps videos on YouTube, I still can’t help but think, “Wow, what a good-looking game.”  I think what clinched it for me was seeing Birdie in action; his Super is at once a weaponized joke and a striking display.

So with the stage now set, let’s talk about DEM GRAFFECTS -- and prove just how shallow we can all be.

Bloodborne. Just Bloodborne.

This is Cross-Up’s s 600^th post (don’t ask how it happened, because I don’t know either).  So to celebrate, let me start by asking a question.

Why is this game significantly better than most of the other games I’ve played in years?

Let’s discuss Gundam Build Fighters Try.

There’s a part of me that wants to load up this post with all the spoilers I can, and that’s largely because this is a sequel series.  Gundam Build Fighters Try is the second season, while the vanilla Gundam Build Fighters is the first; you can technically get away with skipping the first season, but I wouldn’t recommend it because of just how GOOD the first season is.  That puts me in a situation where I have to not spoil either season, but also where in order to explain what’s good, I have to spoil things in one, the other, or both.  For anyone who wants to go in blind, that’s a problem.

So I guess there’s only one way to handle it: to spoil as needed in the paragraphs to come.  For those who are already willing to give it a shot, here’s a spoiler-free rundown.  Is Build Fighters Try good?  Yes.  Did I enjoy watching it?  Yes.  Is it better than the first season?  No.  Are there flaws?  Yes.  Is this season enough to sour me to the franchise?  Not even close; I’m waiting with bated breath for the announcement of a third season.

Now then.  Let’s get started.  With more spoilers than you can shake a beam saber at.

An Erupting Burning Valentine’s Post: Gundam Build Fighters

I don’t understand how this anime can even exist.

A 100% Rational Analysis of Persona 5’s Trailer

Not just rational, but also succinct.

Guilty Gear Xrd is STILL way too cool.

Hey, did you know I really like this game?  I do.  And you should too, because it’s so freakin’ great.  So let’s talk about why while I fight my hardest to avoid choking to death on my unbridled joy.

I’m gonna need something to keep my throat clear.  Like a longsword.

Also, I need to learn how to swallow swords.