RE: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind

So from what I’ve heard, we’ve recently hit the halfway point of JoJo Part 5.  Having caught up (give or take an episode), let me say this to start:

Huh.

So that’s how that works.

Mild-ish spoilers for everything up to episode 21.  If you’re wary of getting spoiled on anything, this post is very not DI MOLTO.

…It’s funnier to use the phrase improperly.

So Yu-Gi-Oh is basically JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

And vice versa, maybe?  It’s possible.  But having put some time into Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V (and Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged) recently -- and all four parts of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure months prior to that -- it’s getting harder and harder for me to ignore the similarities between the two.  I guess that’s to be expected when JoJo has been around for more than thirty years and had a massive influence on popular culture (in Japan for sure, but it’s seeping into the west).  Arguably, any given Joe Blow could make a post titled “So Pokémon is basically JoJo”, as an example.   Still…boy, there are some glaring similarities.

So let’s go over a few of them.  Maybe then, it won’t be as utterly mortifying for me anyone to admit that they’re watching a show built around a freaking card game.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Intermission)

And here we are at last.

So.  Let’s go ahead and breakdown, breakdown JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure one more time…for now, at least.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 8)

All right.  Let’s talk about “Chase”.

I think that all of the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure openings are special -- top-notch work, and a joy to behold and listen to alike.  Personally, that extends to the sixth opening “Chase”.  It’s not my favorite, but it’s still plenty impressive.  From what I can gather, not everyone feels the same way; there have been complaints that the song doesn’t fit JoJo (and belongs with other shonen/anime as per its “generic” nature).  Or, alternatively, they’ll say that the dreary aesthetic and harsh tones are too stark a contrast for a show that revels in its randomly shifted -- and shifting -- color palette.

My argument is that it always seemed as if “Chase” represented a logical progression for the Diamond is Unbreakable anime.  I guessed as much once “Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town” dropped.  Okay, first opening?  Lots of happy sounds and poppy visuals, which can help an audience start falling in love with Morioh and its people.  But since this is JoJo, a series that revels in horror and suffering, it was only a matter of time once the plot kicked in -- and of course, it kicked in right around the time when “Chase” made its debut.  You can’t exactly have the cast dancing and goofing off when one of the story’s major, plot-propelling moments is a serial killer’s murder of an innocent middle school boy who just happened to learn too much.  All because he wanted his sandwich.

So yeah, I like “Chase” as a song, as an opening, and as a representation.  Still, there was one thing that bugged me for the longest time.  I kept asking “Hey, what’s with that weird stony heart with an anchor on it?”  Luckily, I did eventually get my answer -- and like Diamond is Unbreakable at large, it was glorious.

I’ll SPOIL you anywhere

I’ll SPOIL you anytime

You know I’ll SPOIL you

There is no escape (from SPOILERS)

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 7)

Hey, welcome back to Cross-Up.  You know, writing about JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure posts has gotten me thinking.  I’ve come to realize that --

NO.  

SHUT UP.  

EVERYBODY SHUT UP.  

No long, meandering intros.  No tangential anecdotes.  I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.  So you know what?  Screw it.  Screw everything else.  We’re getting in there, right here, RIGHT NOW.

JoJo.  Part 4.  Diamond is Unbreakable.  

LET’S GO.

The SPOILERS we have fly flowing free

As we bicker the day away

Dancing all the while in this

Crazy noisy bizarre SPOILERS

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 6)

You know what really gets to me?  Jotaro’s hat.

I don’t have a problem with the way it looks.  It’s just that for the longest time -- before I seriously started getting into JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure -- I was under the impression that he never took it off.  Plus there’s his look in the Stardust Crusaders anime; with his black uniform and black hair, it looks as if his hat is essentially a part of his skull.  Where does one end and the other begin?  Nobody knows.  Granted that ambiguity was drastically reduced in the Diamond is Unbreakable anime by virtue of Jotaro’s white outfit, but still.  The point remains, I think.

…Is what I would like to say.  But in the very first episode of the anime, Jotaro’s hat gets blown clear off.  And then in the very first arc of the second half of the story, it gets blown off again.  It’s like, how can anyone say that the hat never comes off when it comes off almost immediately?  And on more than one occasion?  The mind boggles.  I blame memes, I suppose; it’s another instance of JoJo being pared down to absolute basics.  A generalization.  And when you generalize, you’re that much more likely to get it wrong.

So I guess I’ll get into specifics -- and use most of the rest of this post to explain why I think Stardust Crusaders is the weakest of the JoJo parts so far.  Hold on to your butts hats.

Their SPOILERS have begun!  Their SPOILERS are running out!

They will SPOIL this!  They won’t stop!

SPOILERS! (HA!  HA!  HA!  HA!)

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 5)

All right, I know the purpose of this little miniseries is to show that JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is greater than the sum of its memes, but…come on, man.  If it wasn’t for ZA WARUDO, it might never have gotten the legs it did in the west.

Okay, that’s a reductive way of looking at things.  I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t know much about JoJo until I found out about ZA WARUDO, and even then it stayed as a simple meme until the anime came out (an anime I’d eventually get around to in 2016, years after its start).  And I know anime; I can’t imagine what it was like for people who don’t know anime.  Anyone who gained exposure by virtue of rapid-fire screams, a cafeteria’s worth of knives, and a steamroller swan dive gained an irrepressible image burned into their very souls.  But I guess any publicity is good publicity.  If a meme opened the door to a wider appreciation of JoJo, then I think we should all count that as a win.

It’s no surprise, then, that Part 3 of JoJo -- Stardust Crusaders -- had some traction going into the big anime premiere (by which I mean David Production’s run, if it wasn’t clear already).  “Oh, this is where that ZA WARUDO thing came from, right?” Billy McCrunchyroll might say one cool October evening.  “Well then, maybe I should give it a look.”  And the rest is history.  Along with Stands, I guess.  Stands are cool, which I’m sure various people have discovered well before this post.

But is Part 3 cool enough to match?  That’s what I’m here to find out.  Or…report on, I suppose.  That seems like a better fit.

BREAK YOU DOWN, BREAK YOU DOWN, BREAK YOU DOWN

Let these SPOILERS fly free

With this hallowed post, STAND PROUD!  (With spoilers.)

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 4)

I should probably start off this post by making something very clear.  There are tons of factors that decide whether a story -- a game, a movie, a book, a TV show, or whatever -- is good.  Even if that’s true, I think we can all agree that characters make up a good chunk of those factors.  As I’ve said, characters create opportunities; if they’re engaging, then they can take an audience to some incredible highs.  If they’re bad, then it’s the equivalent of jamming Mount Olympus into your eyeball.

It’s pretty easy to throw around the claim that “characters should be likable”.  And yeah, that’s a big part of it.  But let’s not get bogged down by strict definitions; “likable” doesn’t have to mean that the character is an admirable, noble member of society.  He or she doesn’t have to be a bang-up hero, because otherwise we would ignore villains by default.  It’s about making sure that, by writing and/or design, there’s something compelling about a character.  That should be understood by everyone, because it’s certainly something understood by JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure and its creator, Hirohiko Araki.

So now that I’ve said all that, let me make a claim about Battle Tendency.  A huge chunk of the named characters are assholes.  And that’s awesome.

Your next line is…

What?  You didn’t tell me there were SPOILERS in this post!

…Except I kind of did.  I lead in with this red text for a reason, people.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 3)

“There’s no way Joseph is the best JoJo.”

I’m not usually one to play the contrarian, even though it seems like that with some of my less-than-ideal opinions (like anything that has to do with Naughty Dog).  I’d like to think that I’m able to rise above preconceptions and biases to speak clearly and honestly about subjects.  But for the life of me -- and even now -- I cannot say that Joseph Joestar is the best lead JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has to offer.

Hear me out on this.  Joseph is the hero of Part 2 -- Battle Tendency -- which ran from 1987 to 1989 in manga form, and from December 2012 to April 2013 in anime form.  The former came out forever and a day ago, while the latter is fresher on people’s minds (thanks to all sorts of memes, to generalize).  Either way, there’s a LOT of content to go through.  Remember, there are eight different JoJo sagas out there, with the latest of the bunch still in production.  There’s a ton that people still need to be exposed to and given the chance to digest.  Even if we peel away 75% of the context of each arc, we still need to put every JoJo under the microscope.  Those who are 100% up to date with the manga can probably do that, but for everyone else?  How can you say “Joseph is the best” when at a bare-ass minimum, we’ve still got to get through Giorno, Joylene, Johnny, and Gappy Josuke?

Now, you can say “Joseph is my favorite JoJo so far”, because that’s much easier and more credible to quantify.  It’s an opinion with good grounding.  So with all of that said, I’ll declare this: no, Joseph is not my favorite JoJo so far.  But he’s still a good, good, good, good, damn good character.  And the same applies to Battle Tendency.

Like a bloody SPOILERS

Burning like a bloody SPOILERS

Some SPOILERS pound through your veins…and this post

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 2)

Can I just take a minute to gush about how much I love Hamon?

Sure, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has long since earned fame for its Stands.  But having watched and enjoyed Phantom Blood, I still feel like Hamon’s the cooler power of the two -- and that’s saying something, because I agree that Stands are rad.  The “power of the sun” not only lets its users fight with supercharged energy and beat down vampires (and zombie grunts), but also gives them a chance to interact with items in the environment in all sorts of zany ways.  Lots of creative applications, to be sure -- as Battle Tendency proves later on -- and it’s the sheer unpredictability that makes it a treat to see in action.

I also love how Hamon’s weakness is an obvious one.  It’s made possible through the proper breathing techniques, so if you can’t breathe, you can’t use it.  I mean, yeah, pretty much every living being is crippled if they can’t breathe, but the applications of it in JoJo add a layer of tension to battles.  When mere chains or a dip underwater become a credible life-or-death situation, you know you’ve done well in storytelling.

Also, this doesn’t have much to do with anything yet, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut…cripes, JoJo does NOT shy away from the body horror.  Thank god for the censorship, because sometimes it’s seriously hard to watch without cringing so hard my eyes clamp shut.

Anyway, on to Phantom Blood.  Again.  WITH SPOILERS.  Again.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All Star Blogging (Part 1)

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is more than just memes.

I repeat: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is more than just memes.

I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s a masterpiece, or the greatest thing ever (in the anime/manga world or otherwise).  I know I’ve said this before, but I have to make it absolutely clear: paring down JoJo to a bunch of images and out-of-context YouTube clips is a huge disservice to it.  It’s lasted this long for a reason.  It has fans for a reason.  It’s got a brand new, still-in-progress anime for a reason.  There are many, many, many things you can pull from a decent-sized chunk of said anime -- most of it accidentally hilarious -- but if you look at it as a whole, it’s truly something special.

So here’s the big question, and one that I hope to answer over the course of this miniseries: is it really as bizarre as the title claims?  It’s hard to say for now.  But if I’m going to come to a conclusion, I’ve got to start somewhere -- and it might as well be at the beginning.

SONO CHI NO SADAME!

SPOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILERS! 

Heritage for the Future (AKA “Hiatus” Time)

So I think I figured out what my ideal Stand would be.

Shower Thoughts with Stardust Crusaders (Part 3)

So if you could have a Stand, what would it be?

That’s kind of a dirty question, because according to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure as we know it, you don’t get to choose your Stand.  It’s a reflection of you.  Granted that reflection tends to be tailor-made to suit the Stand user personality-wise, but it’s like the X-Men: you make do with what you’ve got, because what you’ve got is…well, you.  Still, there’s a ton of allure in imagining what it’d be like to have your own ghostly companion.  I’ve certainly indulged.

I’ll hold off on describing my ideal Stand for now, because that’d take a bit of time, I haven’t completely nailed it down, and (since this is the intro) there’s a lot of more relevant ground to cover.  I can tell you right now that it’s not too dissimilar from Echoes in Diamond is Unbreakable, barring some stuff that I’m pretty sure counts as a spoiler or eight.  So let’s go back to talking about Stardust Crusaders for the third and final time.  The premise?  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Stands in Part 3 are an embodiment of what you want to be, but fail to be.

And I’ll drive that point home one last time…with spoilers aplenty.  But then again, is there any better way to celebrate Thanksgiving Day than with theory-crafting for JoJo?  Probably.  Also, I hope I didn’t date this post super-hard.

Shower Thoughts with Stardust Crusaders (Part 2)

I’ve always believed that you can make any story sound bizarre if you describe it as directly and plainly as possible.  I mean, have you ever really put much thought into Harry Potter?  “A young boy who lives in his abusive family’s cupboard finds out that he defeated an all-powerful evil wizard as a baby, and is whisked off to a British castle so he can go to a school for wizards.”  There’s a lot to unpack there, but context in-universe makes it easier to swallow.  That’s true of every story, I bet.  Break it down to those base elements -- removed of context and flourishes -- and you’re bound to get something bizarre. 

With that in mind, maybe JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure is deserving of its name for a reason.  Some of the stuff in the last post -- and this one, inevitably -- sounds absolutely insane, and it feels like it’d take a conversation just to explain a conversation.  What’s a Joestar?  What’s Hamon?  What’s a Stand?  And so on, and so forth.  It’s not to JoJo’s detriment, of course, but it does make for a harder sell.  Though now that I think about it, I’d LOVE to see some kind of “Parents react to JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure” video someday.  If it’s anything like having mothers describe Overwatch characters, it’ll be a hoot.

Enough of that, though.  It’s time to get back to action, and the thrust of my argument: Stands in Stardust Crusaders are the embodiments of what you want to be, but fail at being.  Am I wrong?  Am I right?  Judge for yourself, because I’ll make a case with the core six characters of the series.

Also, get ready, because I’m about to spoil the CRAP out of Stardust Crusaders.  But I would’ve guessed that I’m the last horse to cross the finish line, soooooooooooooo…if you haven’t watched the show yet, fix that.

Shower Thoughts with Stardust Crusaders (Part 1)

Here’s an important question right off the bat: what is the difference between the Stands in JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders and the Personas from Persona 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1?

They’re extremely similar, so I don’t blame anyone for getting confused by the two.  Men and women tap into a mix of psychological and spiritual power to summon crazy-looking warriors to fight on their behalf.  Only a chosen few can manifest them; the rest are lucky to even see them.  Unreal powers are slung around as easily as a softball in a pickup game of catch.  They’ve been the centerpieces of multiple fighting games.  They’ve experienced no shortage of popularity over the years, if not a surge in fan interest.  Honestly, I’d say that at this point, the fact that there’s no dedicated JoJo X Persona game is an affront to every deity imaginable.  Magician’s Red vs. Take-Mikazuchi?  Come on, that’s easy money.

It should go without saying, but I’m a fan of both franchises -- and it just so happens that I’ve been grinding my way through as much JoJo as possible over the past few months.  As a result, I’ve finally done what thousands (if not millions) of fans have done already, and completed Part 3 -- Stardust Crusaders.  And now I can tackle the question for myself.  Not the question of “is this any good”, oh no.  (Though I’ll be doing that anyway at some point.)  No, I think it’s time for me to split hairs on an ultimately inconsequential issue.

I have a theory -- a shaky theory, but a theory nonetheless.  The Personas are what you really are deep down.  The Stands are what you want to be…but fail to be regardless.

Introducing: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Blogging

This is a post on JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, so that brings with it an immense responsibility.  Expectations.  A duty that must be fulfilled without question.

So I guess I’d better get cracking.  Let’s run through as many JoJo memes as possible right off the bat. 

“Just Turn Your Brain Off!”

Welp.  The last horse has finally crossed the finish line.

Even though I’ve known about it for years, and even though people have urged me for just as long, I’ve finally taken the plunge and started watching JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure in earnest.  It’s not as if I hate the franchise, because even my formerly-shallow understanding of the Joestar bloodline’s exploits have told me “This is a thing I need to get into.”  I would’ve gotten into it sooner, but every time I tried, I did so with my tablet -- which I’ve found is not at all conducive to Crunchyroll usage.  Eventually it flat-out decided to say that it was incompatible with the site, so I did what I should’ve done ages ago and watched it on my PC.  Not all at once, mind, but over time.  Progressively, if and when I get the chance.  (Who’ll write stupidly-long posts, if not I?)

For the record, I’m all done with Part 1 (Phantom Blood) and Part 2 (Battle Tendency).  I’ve got an uphill battle ahead, considering that Part 3 (Stardust Crusaders) is longer than both of the first two parts combined.  Still, it’ll be worth it so I can get to Part 4 (Diamond is Unbreakable), AKA the part I’ve been hyped about for ages now.  I don’t know what’s wrong with the guys in-universe; I think Josuke’s hair is pretty cool…though I could be biased.  I’ve always had a soft spot for delinquent-type characters.

It goes without saying, but I’ll say more about JoJo in the future.  In fact, let’s go ahead and start now -- because there’s a topic tied to it that’s pretty important.  And it relates to video games, too!  And media in general, really.  Yeah, I’m seriously playing the magician here.

Two shows enter, one show leaves!

Oh what a day.  What a lovely day!

Am I -- am I doing that right?  Yeah, I must be doing that right.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about which posts to work on next.  I’ve got a good list of them so far, so it’s only a matter of sitting down and plugging away until they’re done.  I don’t have specific dates locked down for each post, but they’ll come in when they come in.  And while it’s a given that some of those posts will focus on video games -- because of this blog, and because I’m me -- I reserve the right to branch out and tackle stories across different mediums.  Video games are an art form, but they’re not the only talking point out there.

So that’s where you come in.  I’ve mulled over two shows, and I need opinions on which one will go up first.  What have we got?  Well, let’s roll out the red carpet for our two competitors.

Oh, and MEDIOCRE!  There.  Now I’m definitely doing it right.

Anime Was (Probably Not) a Mistake

It’s worth noting right of the bat that the whole “anime was a mistake” meme was based on a misattribution of a Hayao Miyazaki quote/interview, so it’s not as if the whole medium is being condemned by the most notable and credible geniuses in the field.  Well, not directly, at least.  Except when they kind of are.  But not really!  But sort of?

Well, let’s cut right to the heart of the matter.  No, anime was not a mistake.  I know it’s easy to be down on anything and everything these days and seek solace in the past, but even if anime has its problems these days, it’s not as if the medium is worthless.  Or, if you prefer, DOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

That all said?  MAN, are there some serious issues.  So let’s talk about them -- by which I mean it’s time to vent my frustration over the severe lack of little brothers.  Seriously, anime.  Why only little sisters?

Kantai Collection: A Miserable Little Pile of Attributes

You know, a lot of times I find myself wishing that I was good at art.  Historically, my skill with arts and crafts is such that it takes me three times longer to do what everyone else already has…only instead of having something of insane quality to show for it, my products look like something made by a curiously-intelligent two-year-old covered in baseball mitts.  It’s a problem for sure, but that hasn’t stopped me from at least trying; what’s in my head will never match what shows up on a page or screen, but I can at least get close.

I pretty much have to, because I’ve been trying to redesign (and have redesigned) a bunch of my characters.  Plenty of them are in a good spot, but there’s one I’ve struggled with for a while -- to the point where she’s both the one who’s been iterated the most and the one who’s in the direst need of it.  So for a while now, I’ve been scouring the internet for images, art, and resources to give me some ideas.  Inspiration -- a sort of loose guideline to help me nail something down before I go insane.  I think I’ve come up with something, actually…buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut there’s an issue I’m more aware of than ever.

Which brings us -- however randomly -- to Kantai Collection.