Final Fantasy: All the Bumblers

Hmm.  Let’s see.  I could do another relevant, incisive, and heartfelt post on politics.  Or, alternatively, I could dump all over a franchise that’s way too easy to make fun of, yet draws my eye and ire every time because of a worthless vendetta I have against one of gaming’s most beloved brands.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Tough choice.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh, wait.  It’s not a tough choice at all.  Gather around, children, for today is a glorious day.  Come, take a seat around the campfire as Grandpappy Voltech blathers on about Final Fantasy.  Again.  Because it’s what you crave, presumably.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 3

You know, sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder: “Did I ever like Final Fantasy?”

Actually, no I don’t.  That’s a bold lie, but I have to start this post somehow.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 2

I’m sure I made this pretty obvious via the last post, but it’s worth saying plainly here right off the bat: no, I haven’t finished Final Fantasy 15.  All things considered, you could argue that I’ve basically dropped it.  I only made it through the first 15 hours, and haven’t looked back since.  And the sad thing is that for the most part, I don’t feel bad about not having it in my life.  It says a lot about the situation when I’d rather put a sum of 177 hours into other JRPGs -- Tales of Berseria and Persona 5 -- than see Squeenix’s latest through to the end.

So with the advent of modern gaming, that puts me in a weird spot.  News has broken that the devs are planning to add in extra content -- DLC, patches, updates, and the like over the months to come.  Presumably, it’s all in service of making the game into a service to continuously suck up money come as close to the creative vision as possible; it’s a way to iron out past mistakes, tackle fan complaints, and add in features that were missing on release day.  Let’s go ahead and sidestep the debate on whether or not that content should’ve been there in the first place for a game in development for a decade.  The question then becomes one of archiving, future-proofing, and integrity.  What happens to someone who wants to see the game as it was originally released?  What if I want to see the game in a state where the devs thought an off-roading Regalia was a pipe dream?

I don’t know.  But I guess it doesn’t matter, because right now I can’t bring myself to care.

The Final Final Fantasy (15) -- Part 1

I think…

I think…

I think…

Yep.  This franchise is dead to me.

Final Fantasy XV (AKA the 5-Year Anniversary Post)

Hello and welcome to Cross-Up, home of various posts on Final Fantasy!  I’ve been at this since 2012, and it’s so nice to know that even one person out there has read and enjoyed my posts on all sorts of subjects, like Final Fantasy!  I know I’m not the most popular guy out there that talks about Final Fantasy, but it’s been an honor to discuss in-depth what I think about games that have Final Fantasy in the title.  I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon because there are more Final Fantasy games on the way, and I hope that I can continue to grow the blog as I talk about Final Fantasy.

After all, it is my Final Fantasy to become more than just a Final Fantasy.  And as a Final Fantasy, this Final Fantasy has helped me realize that it’s a long road to evolve as a Final Fantasy.  So with the help of Final Fantasy, I’ll Final Fantasy my way to the Final Fantasy and treat the world to the Final Fantasy it deserves, because Final Fantasy is a Final Fantasy that Final Fantasy has in every Final Fantasy to Final Fantasy our Final Fantasy.

So Final Fantasy your Final Fantasy, because Final Fantasy is Final Fantasy, and Final Fantasy in Final Fantasy to Final Fantasy a Final Fantasy.  Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy.

…This is a post on Final Fantasy 15, so let’s talk about it.

… Final Fantasy.

RE: Final Fantasy XV

So it’s the middle of July right now, and Final Fantasy 15 is due out on September 30^th.  In other words?  Oh God.  It’s almost time for another Final Fantasy game.

Right, then.  Let’s do the sensible thing and talk about Star Ocean.

Let’s discuss Final Fantasy XV: Platinum Demo.

You didn’t think I was going to let this one slip away, did you?  Please.  Even though I’m not “the Final Fantasy guy”, I’m gonna go ahead and be “the Final Fantasy guy” for a hot minute.  I’ve even got my hat ready.

But before I go into the demo, there’s some Square-Enix stuff and news worth staring in the face.  By extension, there’s a question I need to ask.  It’s a very important question, and one that I’m surprised I never directly asked before now.  So brace yourselves.

Let’s discuss Final Fantasy XV: Episode Duscae.

I know why you’re here.  And I don’t blame you for it.

It’s Final Fantasy.  You can’t turn away from it.  I can’t turn away from it.  Anyone who’s ever jumped on a Goomba can’t turn away for it.  The franchise keeps pulling in gamers across the board, whether they’re diehard fans or furious detractors.  And with FF15 -- formerly Versus 13 -- being an upcoming title for nearly a decade, all eyes are on Squeenix’s latest.

Not to generalize, but I’m guessing you’re here so you can see me deliver some bad news.  I don’t blame anyone for it; The Lightning Saga practically ran the franchise’s name into the ground, and it hasn’t exactly been soaring in the sky since…well, maybe as early as FF8.  Couple that with the slew of disappointments in the eighth-gen console/AAA space recently, and any given gamer has the right to suspect -- if not expect -- another debacle.  This spiffy new demo is going to be all the proof we need to skip the full game.  At least, that’s the fear.  People are just waiting for confirmation.

I know why you’re here.  And guess what?  I’m not here to tell you that the game -- Duscae or otherwise -- is terrible.  So breathe a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, I’m here to give you some bad news.