The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Byleth)

Yep.  There’s no getting out of this one.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Terry)

Oh, look at what I found.  It’s a ticket for a trip to the salt mines once again.  No, it’s no problem at all, Sakurai and crew. Let me just get my helmet and gloves -- oh, and a decent pair of pants, too -- and I’ll just crawl right in.  I’m not worried about my lungs at all. Not like there’s coal or anything for me to breathe in.  And what do I even need my lungs for, huh?

*sigh*

The update that brought Terry Bogard into Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is the same one that buffed Jigglypuff, my least favorite character to fight in the entire game.  Great.  I was looking for a reason to throw my Switch in the trash.

On the other hand, Buster Wolf.  So it evens out.  Barely.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Banjo & Kazooie)

So I tried playing some Street Fighter V to break in Poison, AKA the only character I could grab with the pittance of Fight Money I had on hand.  Plus it had been the first time I touched it in about five months, so I thought it’d be fun to test out a new fighter and level up my game.

It wasn’t fun.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that for now.

Let’s wash that horrible, horrible taste out of my mouth with the latest Super Smash Bros. Ultimate DLC character -- the oft-gone but not forgotten bear and bird duo, Banjo & Kazooie.  Or…is it Banjo-Kazooie?  Well, whatever.  New character, so let’s get salty.  As if I wasn’t already.

BRB Banjo is in Smash

Jeez Louise, Sakurai and crew are just NOT letting up with these big Smash Bros. Ultimate drops, are they?  Feels like I've only just gotten started with Hero, and no I've got to put him on the back burner for the bear and bird.

You can't really blame me though, can you?

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mines (feat. Hero)

You know, I was planning on doing another post on Super Smash Bros. Ultimate since Hero from Dragon Quest dropped not too long ago.  What I wasn’t planning on?  The fact that the guy’s still relevant days and weeks after his release -- for all the wrong reasons.

Is Hero overpowered?  Does Hero need to be banned?  The answers are…not going to be on this blog, because it’s a coin flip on whether I’ll either have a 7-match win streak, or lose 2 million GSP in a single day.  But I’ve been grinding it out in Ultimate, so I might as well gab a bit.  Come along for the ride.

BRB Hero is in Smash

And here come Sakurai and Smash Bros. Ultimate, thwartin’ my plans like the madlads they are.

Just as well, though.  Granted I was going to use this slot to talk more about Bloodstained, but given how much Smash I’ve been playing recently, I guess I can take a minute to post briefly on the game’s latest fighter.  And who knows?  Maybe I can slip in a few choice words on Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

…Besides “Dedue is best girl”, of course.  As if anyone needs to have such an obvious truth doled out.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Rosalina)

So Super Smash Bros. Ultimate has been out for months now, and I still haven’t unlocked Elite Smash yet.

On one hand, I’m okay with that because I have enough trouble with the rank-and-file of regular quick play matches.  Best to struggle with those that are (usually) my speed down in the salt mines -- because misery loves company, or something.  On the other hand, this is my pride as a gamer and Smash vet we’re talking about here.  I think I’ve got something like 4 million GSP overall, with my Zelda in the top spot with a similar single-character amount.  Even if I don’t choose to go Elite, I still want the recognition that I could go Elite.

We’ll see if/when I make it there.  And if I do?  It’ll probably be with my current main, Rosalina.

...and Luma.

The Smash Ultimate Salt Mine Report (feat. Joker)

Expectation: Take advantage of time zone shenanigans to play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate on April 16^th, 2019

Reality: Play as Joker in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate after several failed hours of attempting to brave the total wipeout of the Nintendo eShop, coalescing into me giving up, going to sleep, getting woken up at 4:33 AM, downloading the 3.0.0 update, goofing around and getting the Persona 5 Spirits, and then going back to sleep on April 18^th, 2019

Moral of the story: try to resist the urge to misappropriate the famous “hell is other people” quote when referring to any gamer who isn’t you, and simply enjoy the fact that there’s a new character in Smash.

The keyword here is “try”.  But I’ll get to that.

BRB Joker is in Smash

I love how the timing for this is both amazing and awful.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT III

So I’m trying to decide whether Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is better than, worse than, or equal to Homecoming, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.  While I have reservations about giving modern-day Sony’s movie division any credit or praise, a good movie is a good movie, and Miles Morales’ big screen debut is more than simply “good”.

It’s worth watching for its presentation alone -- an animated movie that doesn’t feel the need to play with kid gloves by default.  Granted there are times when the movie gets in its own way with possibly too much style -- during my viewing I thought a few times that it’d be better if they toned the AV down by 10-20% -- but it’s a critical hit more often than it misses.  Kingpin is the definition of an “absolute unit” design-wise, and seeing some of this stuff in motion makes me hungry for more.  Not just a sequel, but for other movies to be emboldened to give the style (or something like that) an honest try.  Like, Disney, maybe mimic this instead of another live-action remake?

The funny thing about the movie is that, while Homecoming stepped away from the origin story affect, Spider-Verse revels in it -- to its benefit.  Fair move, considering that we’re following Miles now.  Still, even if you’re wary of another superhero origin story, there’s more than enough meat on this movie’s bones to keep you satiated.  Shout-outs to this movie for making parents that feel like real people; this version of Jefferson isn’t just trying to run for Jesus like Spider-Man PS4’s Jefferson, and --

Wait, I feel like I should be talking about something else right now.  Oh, right.  Smash Bros.  Let’s talk about it one more time…with a focus on World of Light.  Because I beat it, and talking about that is…well, it’s necessary, I think.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT II

Hey, welcome back to another post on my newfound crack addiction.

I had a friend come over recently, and he asked me what I thought of Smash Bros. Ultimate.  My answer, without hesitation: “It goes without saying, but this is the best Smash yet.”  I didn’t think that was a controversial statement -- can’t imagine a lot of people disagreeing with me, though we’ll see what the verdict is a year out from release -- but naturally, my brother chimed in to say “Ehhhhhhhhhhh, I dunnoooooooooooo…”  Naturally.  Because naturally, he pines for the days of Melee.  Except for that time when we played Melee again, and we all decided (in an unspoken decree) that that was a mistake.

Okay, sure, it’s not as if Melee is the worst or anything.  But the game is old enough to drive now, and holding it in unrivaled esteem does it, the franchise, or us no favors.  Even if you’re the type to uphold it for its gameplay/tournament merits, can we at least meet halfway and agree that Ultimate has the best visuals, presentation, sound design, and content thus far?  Can we?

I bet we can.  And with that out of the way, let’s talk about more Smash Ultimate stuff.

The Smash Ultimate Diaries -- ACT I

You know, I had a feeling this would happen.

Don’t misunderstand right off the bat; it’s not as if I’m about to say “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is a huge disappointment.”  On the contrary.  I think it’s a good game, and here’s why: just as I predicted, there have been multiple instances since release day on December 7^th (6^th if you’re like me and had the digital version pre-loaded alongside geographical advantages) when I had to make a call.  Play more Smash, or get more sleep?

I’ve chosen Smash over sleep on more than one occasion.  I probably shouldn’t.  I mean, as of writing I feel a cold coming on, and it wasn’t long ago that I went to bed early because I felt like throwing up.  I didn’t, thankfully -- I need to work on rebuilding my streak of going over a decade without puking -- but the worst part about it wasn’t that I felt like my insides sparked a bloody revolution.  It was that I missed out on valuable Smash time.

Right now, all I want to do is play it more.  But in the interest of keeping this blog alive, let’s go ahead and have a random collection of thoughts.  Then more smashing.

RE: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

There’s a lot to talk about and discuss with Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, but lately there’s one thing that’s been on my mind above all else: is Sakurai going to be okay after this?

I wonder.  Director and series mainstay Masahiro Sakurai has long since earned fame and infamy for his work on the Smash Bros. Series.  Reportedly, he’s a workaholic who’s put in an insane amount of hours from game to game, with the calcific tendonitis to show for it.  And to what end?  Barring the drop of a major story mode from Brawl to 4, every new installment is bigger than the last.  More characters!  More stages!  More music!  More tweaks!  Items, Assist Trophies, Pokemon, options, modes, everything, everything, everything!  It sure as hell doesn’t seem like there’s an endgame for the franchise, a plateau upon which to rest.  

It leads me to believe -- or guess -- that this is Sakurai’s last hurrah.  Throw in everything for this game, then announce his departure -- maybe dabble in smaller or passion projects.  It’s a “salt the earth” strategy you’d kind of expect from a troll-happy creator; make a big mess, then leave the next guy to deal with the cleanup as you put on your sunglasses and backflip outta there.  As one would.