Avengers: Infinity War: So That Happened

I was going to give this Avengers: Infinity War post a subtitle that made a none-too-subtle reference to Bleach, but then I realized that that in itself would have constituted a spoiler from moment one.  And as lax as I can be with spoilers, I know that that’s a dirtbag move.  

I guess my only option is to meet others halfway and embed one of its most infamous songs.  A fair tribute, yes?  Anyway, let’s get in there.

THERE ISN’T A FONT SIZE LARGE ENOUGH TO CONVEY HOW MANY SPOILERS THERE ARE IN THIS POST.  THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING.  IF YOU WANT A SPOILER-FREE TAKE, GO HERE INSTEAD.

…Okay, maybe there is a font size large enough, but I don’t want to use it.  That’s a last resort.

RE: Avengers: Infinity War

Prior to watching Avengers: Infinity War, I learned something about Thanos thanks to my brother.  Apparently, back in the days of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 (among other crossover titles), Thanos was a playable character -- not a very good one, from what I’ve heard, but that’s to be expected in a game infamous for its god-tier characters to this day.  In any case, the Thanos incarnation in that game had a certain quirk to his moveset: he could trap foes in bubbles.  That’s exactly the kind of move you’d expect from the Mad Titan, and not, say, a foul-mouthed magical girl from a game released nearly a decade later.

So in the lead-up to Marvel’s latest, my brother ecstatically went on and on about that move.  “Oh boy, I hope Thanos uses his bubbles!” he said with a grin, and rubbed his hands in anticipation.  It was the most bizarre thing I ever heard.  But what’s more bizarre is the fact that, yes, Thanos uses bubbles in Infinity War.  Twice.  That nearly made my bro rocket out of his seat.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Gamora grabbed a knockoff Proton Cannon in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.  Someone on the staff is a Mahvel fan.

Anyway, Thanos using bubbles is the only spoiler you’ll get from me in this post.  So let’s get to it.