Breakdown, breakdown! Let's analyze JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and do it shining justice!


March 30, 2017

Are Japanese Games Getting Too Lewd?


I like to imagine that there’s a person out there who reads the title of this post, screams “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” and then dives from the sky like a peregrine falcon to try and hit me with a flying cross chop at 200 miles per hour.  The keyword here is try, for obvious reasons.  I like my bones in working order, you see.

Now then.  Early on in my blogging career (sure, let’s call it that), I tended to use the phrase “improbably buxom” to describe -- well, you can probably guess.  I still use it, because I think it’s worth a chuckle.  But back then I used it a bit more because I went on about stuff like Dead or Alive.  It reached a point where I joked about spearheading a campaign to create Improbably Buxom: The Game, in which you play as a character out to make the women of the world -- you guessed it -- improbably buxom.  Then I found out that that game had already been made, more or less; the details aren’t intimate to me, but I’m willing to bet that it’s hentai.  Does that count in the grand scheme of things?  That’s a question worthy of debate. 

But imagine my surprise when a slew of recent Japanese games do their best to ape my glorious concept.  All with a straight face.  And it just leaves me wondering: are the games from the land of the rising sun becoming too lewd for their own good?

March 27, 2017

Shower Thoughts with RWBY (Part 1)

Oh, I’m sorry.  Did you think it was over?  Did you think we were done?  Nah, son.  It ain’t over till it’s over.  Wind that clock back.

In any case, RWBYI put up a post a while back that went into Volume 4, and my less-than-ideal reaction to it.  I don’t think it’s a “season” that breaks the show beyond repair, but I do feel as if it’s the weakest offering yet.  It’s a shame I have to be so negative towards a show I genuinely like, but here we are.  And here I am, specifically.  See, when I was thinking about the post, I had more things planned than just taking a steaming dump all over Rooster Teeth’s 3D anime.  But in typical Voltech fashion, that post ended up reaching the 4000-word mark, and there wasn’t much room for anything else.  Like the positive stuff.

Here’s the thing: I’ve said on multiple occasions, and in multiple posts, that I want to be a writing hero -- a storyteller whose works can put smiles on the faces of others.  It’s a lofty goal, for sure, and one that can only be reached with sufficient amounts of training and skill.  Pumping iron or running laps aren’t what’ll make me a better writer, though; mental effort will.  And to that end, confronting RWBY presents me with a unique opportunity.  If I want to be a great writer, then I need to be able to provide possible alternatives instead of saying “THIS THING SUCKS” and moving on.  How would you fix it?  How would you do better?  And so on, and so forth.

So that’s what I’m going to do…eventually.  But first, there’s a question that’s been on my mind: are the characters in RWBY going to turn into Grimm?

March 23, 2017

Should I go see Power Rangers?


I haven’t had an internal crisis this severe since that time I found out that “fans” of The Magic School Bus were willing to make Rule 34 art of Ms. Frizzle.  I mean, yeah, I get it.  Rule 34 is Rule 34, but…is there nothing sacred?  I guess not.  And knowing that there are people who see Ms. Frizzle as an object of lust is -- well, it’s just the sort of thing destined to shake your faith in humanity, you know?

All right, enough about that.  Let’s talk about the Power Rangers movie.  No, not that oneNot that oneNot that one.  That one.


March 20, 2017

RE: Tales of Berseria


*sigh*

*sigh*

…Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I like how that makes it sounds like I’m super-down on Tales of Berseria, but it’s actually an actual line of dialogue in the game -- and arguably even a character’s catch phrase.  Still, it feels kind of appropriate, because there is an aspect about Berseria that makes me sad.  It doesn’t have to do with the quality of the game, though.  Well, not right now.  But my issue is pretty simple.

This game is friggin’ long, and it’s pissing me off.

March 16, 2017

On Power Rangers and Mega-Consequences

All right, we’re a little over a week away from the release of a brand new Power Rangers movie (and in the midst of a Twitch streaming marathon), so I figure this is as good a time as any to launch into a tangentially-related discussion about it.  But before I do anything else: Lost Galaxy has the best theme song of the entire franchise.  Yeah, I said it.  Come at me.  Fight me 1v1.

At this stage, it’s impossible to know for sure whether Lionsgate’s soon-to-drop film is good or not.  We can all make guesses based on the evidence presented -- trailers, interviews, and so on -- but there are only two ways to confirm its quality (or lack thereof): take in as many reviews as possible, or see it in the flesh.  I’d imagine that there’s a decent number of people who are already crying tears of blood over what’s been shown off so far -- I’ve almost hacked up a lung on a couple of occasions -- but you know what they say.  Innocent until proven guilty.  It’s a shame that proving innocence or guilt requires a time/money investment that might prove physically or spiritually painful; still, that’s the way it goes.

In any case, Power Rangers has gotten me thinking.  It pretty much had to; as your friendly neighborhood tokusatsu fan, 48% of my brainpower is devoted to visualizing OTT transformation poses.  So let’s get to it.

March 13, 2017

RWBY: What Happened?


*sigh*

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

I really, really, really don’t want to write this post.  But it’s gonna eat away at me until I commit my thoughts to (virtual) paper, so let’s get through this as fast as possible.  And let me start by asking an important question:

Why didn’t I enjoy Volume 4 of RWBY as much as I could have?

March 9, 2017

How it Feels to Play Breath of the Wild.

You know, lately it seems like I’ve been having a hard time coming up with titles for blog posts.  Not because I’m drawing the proverbial blank; no, it’s more because I’ve got so many ideas for titles that I end up getting paralyzed in my seat.  I feel like I’m getting close to the end of Tales of Berseria, but even if I’m not, I’ve still put in enough hours to say something substantial about it -- but the problem is that I’ve gone through about six separate titles without typing out a single word.

That’s one example, yet it’s not the only one.  Here we are, with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild firmly in the midst of gamers -- in its final, retail form, armed and ready for mass consumption.  Where do you even begin with the Wii U’s final game (worthy of major headlines, at least) and the Switch’s first game (of the same quality)?  There are plenty of options -- like a blanket statement of whether it’s good or not -- but I think I’ve come up with one possible answer.

That answer is a question: as of right now, if I had to sum up Breath of the Wild in one word, what would it be?

And the answer to that question (which in itself is an answer) is this: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is raw.

March 6, 2017

So How Good is Cosplay, Really?


You know, I can’t even begin to guess the number of posts that have been inspired by conversations with my brother.  I swear, he’s like a goldmine of writing material -- which is partly to be expected when he’s the perpetual Ken to my Ryu, the Sol to my Ky, the Jin to my Ragna.  So yeah, throw this one onto the pile next and hope it doesn’t topple onto you.

I was playing The Last Guardian one day, and getting pretty into it.  Meanwhile, he was online and looking at stuff -- Injustice 2 footage chief among them, so he could be the Batman to my Superman -- but I didn’t pay much attention to him.  At one point, though, he made a bold declaration; it was the sort of thing that made me take pause and divert my attention (but not my eyes) from my adventure with Trico.  What did he say, you ask?  Three simple words.

“I hate cosplay.”

March 1, 2017

A Big Dumb List of Shows I Want to Watch


So last week, I put out a list of games I want to play over…oh, I don’t know.  The next year or so, basically.  That’s not a complete and ironclad list by any means; I’d love to be able to get to all of them (or remember that I wanted to get to all of them), but as I’ve found out over the years, clearing video games within a decent time frame and writing about them while they’re still relevant is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard.  It’s even harder when you willingly sacrifice gaming time to try and fulfill your dream of becoming a novelist, and you know you’ve still got 30+ hours of game time looming above you…from a single title.  But I digress.

And I’ll digress even further by saying that I don’t want to just play a bunch of games.  There are a crapload of TV shows (and movies) out there that are worth watching, to say nothing of what Netflix has been offering for ages.  Unfortunately, I’ve missed out on a lot of the greats; one of the biggest quirks of fate in my life is that I’ve rarely, if ever, been able to get NBC on my TV(s).  Too much interference or whatever.  So, 30 Rock?  Barely seen it.  Parks and Recreation?  Gone.  The Office?  Is that a thing?  I feel like that’s a thing.

So it’s time to at least pretend I’m going to remedy that.  Come fire walk with me as I run through a big dumb list of shows I want to watch.  Oh, and movies too.  I’m also bad at watching movies.