Breakdown, breakdown! Let's analyze JoJo's Bizarre Adventure and do it shining justice!


February 29, 2016

Let’s discuss Street Fighter V (Part 1).


This might be both the easiest and the hardest post I’ve written in a while.

Let’s answer the basic questions right off the bat.  Yes, I like Street Fighter V.  Yes, I think that -- even with the rough launch and the controversies surrounding it -- it’s a good game overall.  With enough time and familiarization, whether it’s with casuals, pros, or someone nestled in between like me, it’s going to cement itself as the flagship title of the fighting game genre.  Well, if it hasn’t already.

But it’s hard for me to ignore the outcries right now.  Why?  Well, in one of my earliest experiences with the game, I sat down with my brother to play it.  And in the middle of our match, the game booted us back to the main menu because of Capcom’s server woes.  Despite us playing offline.  Despite the two of us sitting less than a yard away from each other.  And of course, that’s overlooking the obvious issue.  Capcom ran multiple betas and multiple stress tests over the course of roughly half a year, and the online launch was still a mess.

So, once more, let’s gab about Street Fighter V.  Even though a guy who can just barely land a combo has no business discussing it, but whatever.  It’s fine.

February 25, 2016

A Good Day to Patreon Hard


I know that people usually come to this blog to read stuff (at least those that aren't searching for pictures of improbably buxom anime girls), but if you don't mind, just this once I'd like to make a bit of a divergence.  And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I spent, like, a week working on this thing.

"This thing", as it so happens, is a promo vid for my Patreon campaign.  Have a look.

February 22, 2016

D.O.X. is Dead #10: Princesses and Layers


So a while back, I went out to grab a new mouse.  Found one, too; it’s pretty sensitive, but its battery life is much higher than my last one, and it’s got a cool design on it.  But I started looking around the store, and wouldn’t you know it?  I spotted a DVD box set of Adventure Time.  Well, probably a DVD set.  Could’ve been Blu-Ray.  I paid more attention to the fact that it was just Jake the Dog in box form.

The important thing is that I paid just enough attention to the box to notice that I would’ve grabbed the complete fifth season of the show -- which is a problem, because I couldn’t even tell you where the first season starts and stops.  So I put it back, in the hopes that one day I would know enough about Adventure Time to dive into any given segment of the canon.  That day has yet to come, unfortunately.  My loss, of course; I wouldn’t mind learning more about Finn, Jake, Ice King, Beemo, Fire Princess, Lemongrab, Marceline the Vampire Queen, and all the rest.  (Also, Cinnamon Bun is god-tier.)

So indulge me for a moment.  Let’s chat about Princess Bubblegum.

February 18, 2016

UnchartedPalooza!! Among Thieves

Uncharted 2 pushes a pretty big question right out of the gate: do you believe in second chances?

Speaking personally, I suppose I do.  I’m the guy who wound up hating Final Fantasy 13 before game’s end, but played the unneeded sequel and a franchise spin-off despite common sense beckoning me to stay the hell back.  But I’m the sort that wants to believe, and believe that people can do the right thing.  Okay, so you made a mistake the first time?  Fine.  Do better next time.  Learn from your mistakes, and leave them behind on your way onward and upward.

That seemed to be the case with Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.  I missed the game when it first came out, but others didn’t.  And from what I can gather, others were -- and still are -- willing to call it a masterpiece.  Accolades across the board, adoration from gamers and critics alike, and the codification of one of Sony’s biggest franchises; Uncharted 2 is a big hit, and makes up for whatever shortcomings the original game had.  In my experience, my brother told me that instead of playing Drake’s Fortune -- via The Nathan Drake Collection remaster -- I should just skip ahead to Uncharted 2.  “It’s basically the same story,” he said.  And more importantly, “The game’s a masterpiece.”

So after finishing Drake’s Fortune, I dove into Among Thieves

And now I’m not so keen on second chances.

February 15, 2016

Do Me a Solid: Tumblr Arrange



Everybody have a good Valentine’s Day?  Cool.  Then let’s completely disregard the allure and appeal of selflessly showing affection to the dearly beloved, and focus solely on helping me.

Because I’m an altruist, you see.

February 11, 2016

Waifu Wars: Loyalty-Tier


So Destructoid is in the middle of a waifu war or something -- which is news to me, because I was under the impression that waifu wars never end.  Then again, I wouldn’t really know; I’ve never exactly been an active participant, because it’s not like I have a horse in that race.  But it’s funny, because the call for waifu soldiers came right around the time when I started watching RWBY (RIP Monty Oum) -- and based on its premise and art floating around, you’d think that it’s a verifiable waifu distribution service.

I’m really early into the show, but it’s already won me over.  Weirdly, it’s not for the reason I expected -- i.e. a bunch of sick anime fights.  True, those are in there, but the first eight or so episodes are less about the combat and more about the characters.  Or, more precisely, it’s about the comedy.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised when each episode reminds you that it’s a Rooster Teeth production, but I found myself tuning in for the jokes instead of seeing girls -- and the occasional guy -- go at it with the forces of evil.

Still, the show does raise an interesting question: what, exactly, is a waifu?  Let’s break down into semantics for a bit -- and delay the announcement of mai waifu, but whatever.  The wait will make the reveal that much more satisfying.

February 8, 2016

So How Good are Fighting Games, Really?


Given that Street Fighter V is basically a week away and this entire blog is based off of a fighting game concept, it’s only natural that I throw this post out there.  Although I’m kind of surprised it took me this long to write it.  I would’ve figured that it would be number one on the docket.

Oh well.  I'd better make up for lost time.

February 4, 2016

UnchartedPalooza!! Drake’s Fortune

It should go without saying, but for posterity’s sake?  The entire purpose of this post -- and by extension this whole miniseries -- is simple: I want to find out how good the Uncharted series really is.  Or if it’s even good in the first place.

I wouldn’t know, because as embarrassing as it sounds, I’ve barely played any of the games prior to this.  Based on how much traction it’s gotten, I’d like to at least assume that the franchise is good.  Perfect?  Probably not.  But you don’t get to become a marquis title on one of the big three consoles by being merely average.  You have to be something special.  Something awe-inspiring.  Something fantastic.  True, it’s entirely possible that Uncharted’s traction is unfounded, and that its definition of “special” is actually a bunch of smoke and mirrors -- the most basic of the basic, elevated to godhood thanks to marketing and hype.  Or maybe the series is actually incredibly good, and deserves its place in the spotlight despite its AAA status.  Who knows? 

The only thing I know for sure is that I’ll find and present my own personal answers via this miniseries.  Well, actually, that’s not entirely true.  I know that based on my experience, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune is roooooooooooooooooooooooooooough.

And yet, it feels strangely familiar.

February 1, 2016

Xenoblade Chronicles X: A Double Lariat

Is there anyone reading this that laments the loss of the game’s bust slider?

Just before Xenoblade Chronicles X hit store shelves in the west, there was that controversy over “censorship”, i.e. gamers couldn’t raise or lower the size of their created female characters’ breasts.  The argument, or something like it, was that Nintendo decided that gamers weren’t capable of handling those matters.  Or, if you want to play strawman, they didn’t want to deal with outcries from the “dreaded” SJWs.  It was either that, or they caved into demands as part of an overly-PC culture, even if it meant sacrificing artistic merit.

I think that -- as usual -- there’s no right or wrong answer to this controversy.  On one hand, I can see the issue; as a guy who hopes to write about characters of all shapes and sizes, including the improbably buxom, it’s disheartening to know that I can’t create whatever I want because somebody decided to take certain tools away from me.  And again, it implies that the mere presence of sexuality (such as it is, given that breasts are simply body parts) is the problem, not the context or execution of it.  On the other hand, it’s still possible to define a character by more than just a body type, especially since the potential is definitely there to cause a controversy.  Although given that the default bust size is generous, I wonder if it would make for some little girl avatars that raise a lot of questions.

But enough about that.  Let’s talk about my avatar for the game, Lariat.