Does whatever a spider can! Let's discuss Spider-Man: Homecoming!


October 29, 2015

The World’s Spookiest Post?


I’d imagine that with Halloween right around the corner, people are flooding the internet with skeletons, ghosts, zombies, vampires, werewolves, jack-o-lanterns, and other nightmarish ephemera (even though it’s plainly obvious that there’s nothing scarier than the creatures lurking in the ocean).  This would be the part where I play into that -- or more appropriately, do a post about something super-spooky.  A scary game, for one.  But I just did a hefty post on Crimson Peak, and it kind of feels like I’d be double-dipping.

So I asked myself, “What would be the scariest thing I could offer up to anyone who stumbles upon this post?”  And the answer to that is simple: art by someone who has no business trying to do art.  Because there’s nothing scarier than someone without talent shoving his lack of talent in people’s faces!

Mediocrity, ooooooooOOOOOoooOOOOoooooooooo!  How chilling!

October 26, 2015

So How Good is Star Wars, Really?

So my brother came in one night and announced that he ordered us tickets to see Star Wars: The Force Awakens, because of course he did.

I mean, I guess I can’t blame him (too much) for it.  Pre-order culture has been a big part of the gaming world for ages -- for good or ill, and mostly ill at this stage -- but there are just some instances where it’s unavoidable.  Call it a hunch, but I suspect that The Force Awakens will qualify as a global event powerful enough to temporarily stop all the wars and debates in the world, not just some movie to see on a whim one weekend.  If you exist, you’re probably going to see it -- because even if you aren’t interested, friends and family probably are.  Or their friends and family are, or their friends and family are.  It’s an unavoidable chain, a sphere of influence half-built on peer pressure that demands you go see lightsabers and X-Wings and droids that can’t possibly have any practical use.

Well.  Aren’t I just laying all the cards on the table?

October 22, 2015

Crimson Peak: It Has Ghosts in It

So here’s the question that’s been on my mind for a while, at least since the halfway point of Crimson Peak: is Guillermo del Toro trying to tell us something?

It’s kind of a given that the answer is yes.  Presumably, every piece of art is a look inside the mind of the creator, and there are coded messages hidden within the overall package.  That’s something of an unsettling thought, knowing that the creator’s soul is -- intentionally or not -- inside a story; I’ll probably have a lot of explaining to do if/when my stuff ever makes it out there.  But for now, I have to think about what del Toro’s saying via Crimson Peak.

I’ll be the first to admit that he was never really on my radar until Pacific Rim (the first movie I was consciously aware he spearheaded, and incidentally one I enjoyed a lot).  But in light of his troubles with Konami and Silent Hills, and his other cancelled video game projects, and the uneasy state of Pacific Rim 2, you can’t help but wonder if all of it is taking a toll.  (Though the timetables don't necessarily sync up; games and movies take a LONG time to make, IIRC.)  And then I find out that Crimson Peak lost in the box office to Goosebumps, and after crying enough to have turned into a crusted and powdery husk I just -- I don’t know, I feel like the guy needs a hug.  Anyone could, really, but I feel like he needs one the most.  Like he was born a universe where very few things go his way, and only by receiving enough love can he return to the proper dimension.

It’s okay, Mr. del Toro.  If it makes you feel any better?  I think you made an awesome movie.

Time to do that thing I do where I ruin movies -- which I’ll admit is made possible by virtue of my good friend, SPOILERS.  He spoils everything that happens, and will also steal your wallets and food.  As one would.

October 19, 2015

Shower Thoughts with Monster Girls (Part 2)


You know what’s worse than talking about someone else’s created monster girls?  Talking about your own monster girls.  So let’s double-down on the sacrilege and get through this together.  I’m sure it won’t be…

Wait.  I feel like I’ve done this before, albeit under slightly-different contexts.  Like, does this feel familiar to anyone?

Eh.  Doesn’t matter.  As long as I don’t link to earlier posts, no one will ever judge me.  Now let’s dive into a post practically destined to include giant breasts.  Because if you’re going to hell, you might as well dive head-first.

October 15, 2015

The Last of Us -- feat. Kamen Rider OOO (Part 2)


Confession time: I’ve been reluctant to make this post, and the one before it.

It’s not that I mind expressing my opinions, since I at least try to rationalize what I type out.  But things can get pretty volatile when it comes to games, especially stuff like The Last of UsJust look at the comments at the end of this feature -- the vitriol could melt a steel wall.  It’s one thing to disagree with someone’s opinion (and his/her personal takeaway from a game, one that tries its best to inspire thought and discourse), but it’s another to shut it down while barely trying to make a counter-argument.

Imagine how I feel in my aims to avoid rocking the boat, but to be so daring, so mad, and so audacious as to claim that an underpants-loving goof from a merchandise-driven franchise is somehow better than the weathered survivalist from 2013’s critical darling and fan favorite.  I’m a little wary, to say the least.  But I’m serious here.  Kamen Rider OOO’s Eiji is, in my eyes, a better character than Joel.  And I’d even go so far as to say that his story in general is better, too.  Yes, yes, different mediums, different objectives, etc. -- but speaking personally?  One of those characters makes me deliberate (and smile) to this day, even after experiencing his story to completion more than a year ago.  The other is Joel Grumpybuns.  So all aboard the crazy train once more, yes?

October 12, 2015

Shower Thoughts with Monster Girls (Part 1)



Real talk?  I don’t know if there’s a heaven or a hell, but if there was ever a surefire way to get sent to the latter, it’d be with a post like this.

October 5, 2015

Two consoles enter, one console leaves!


The title implies as much, but this is actually pretty cut and dry.  So let’s get to it and not think about Mad Max any longer than we have to -- because it’s just going to bring up thoughts on Fury Road, and I imagine that would be a pretty big distraction.

Alternatively, it could bring up thoughts of the recent Mad Max game, and I imagine that would plunge readers into the depths of despair.  Maybe.  I haven’t heard the most glowing recommendations for that one.

October 1, 2015

Let’s discuss Devil May Cry 4 (Part 3 -- FINALE).


Hey, welcome back.  How’s it going?  Boy, do I hate DmC: Devil May Cry.

Welp, that’s a good way to set the mood of this post.